The Happy Chart

Are you happy?

Click here to read the full happy chart instructions and guidelines at fambee.org/happy

Over the last few months as I have been applying and developing this chart with my children I have realized that everything I taught them, I needed to apply in my own life.

These basic principles can be understood and applied by small children, tweens, teens, and most importantly parents! Learning and understanding our emotions is a never ending process because emotions are always changing. Life is a journey. We must all learn to enjoy the journey together!

My Quiet time music & sucess story

It was a struggle getting everyone in bed but Yay! Gracie stayed in bed! I left her room at 3:42 so really it was only 18 minutes of enforced Q time. So when it was on the 4 I happened to look at the clock! She stayed in bed!!!! And she fell asleep!! Her first time following Q time rules today!!!! (we started on Monday) and I am so proud of her!!! Everyone slept until 5:45!!!! And I woke up Ainsley at 6:15 for dinner.

And we went to bed at 8:45.

Happy Faces for the chart

Super Happy. Singing. Pretty happy. Kind of happy. Kind of sad. Whining. Grumpy. Crying.

The emotional thermometer.

Quiet time chart

Quiet time is one hour change. So if it starts on the 2 it is done on the 3. The earlier I get them to their beds (2:01) the longer quiet time is. If I diddle-daddle and they aren’t in their beds until (2:21) then my hour is down to forty minutes.

So I will start on the 12 with lunch and then on the 1 with potty breaks, story time, clean up, gather library books to read, etc…. So as soon as it is on the “2″ I can go upstairs and have my own quiet time!!!!

I made this chart to color in every minute of the hour and stayed with Gracie for a while. We colored together and talked about quiet time benefits (staying above the green) and learning about her “SLOW” clock!

Q – Quiet Box

If the girls stay in bed for all of quiet time they get to choose something from the “Q” box full of candy.

Ainsley falls asleep instantly with no complaint.
Gracie. Gracie Gracie Gracie girl.
She has struggled with quiet time!! She usually sneaks upstairs and finds other things to do.
It took Gracie a few days. The first few days Gracie got out of bed just a few minutes before the hour change. And so she didn’t get anything :(
It was torture watching Ainsley pick!!!

But by day three she stayed in her bed AND FELL ASLEEP!!

Quiet time is back!!

Random Thoughts for the Book

Many Random thoughts getting ready to go into the book….

The Book:

Enjoy: Creating a home where there is peace, comfort, and harmony.

  • en·joy –verb (used with object)
    • 1. To receive pleasure or satisfaction from.
  • peace –noun
    • 1. The absence of war or other hostilities.
    • 2. An agreement or a treaty to end hostilities.
    • 3. Freedom from quarrels and disagreement; harmoniousrelations: roommates living in peace with each other.
    • 4. Public security and order: was arrested for disturbing the peace.
    • 5. Inner contentment; serenity: peace of mind.
  • com·fort –verb
    • 1. To soothe in time of affliction or distress.
    • 2. To ease physically; relieve.
  • com·fort –noun
    • 1. A condition or feeling of pleasurable ease, well-being, and contentment.
    • 2. Solace in time of grief or fear.
    • 3. Help; assistance: gave comfort to the enemy.
    • 4. One that brings or provides comfort.
    • 5. The capacity to give physical ease and well-being: enjoying the comfort of my favorite chair.
    • 6. Chiefly Southern & Lower Northern U.S. A quilted bedcover; a comforter.
  • har·mo·ny
    • 1. Agreement in feeling or opinion; accord: live in harmony.
    • 2. A pleasing combination of elements in a whole: color harmony; the order and harmony of the universe.
    • 3. Music The study of the structure, progression, and relation of chords. A combination of sounds considered pleasing to the ear

“Harmony at Home” Jim Lea

“You do what your parents did, unless you learn something different, when raising children. That is why abused becomes abusers” Joy Lea

Need to write a MANUEL:

Teachers Manuel: Dad’s conversion story. Mom’s conversion story. It is never too late.

“It shall be your privilege to create a home where there is peace, comfort, and harmony and the will of the Lord shall be made manifest in the rearing of your children and they shall grow up uno the Lord to become His instruments in the very important work that shall continue on through the generations.”

Ideas I would like to mention and cover in greater detail

  • Accountability
    • Learning, Discovering, and Recognizing Emotions.
      • Super Happy, Singing, Pretty Happy, Kind of Happy, Kind of Sad, Whining, Grumpy, Crying
  • Responsibility
  • Balance
    • Exercise and utilize our Mind, Body, Heart, and Soul
  • Flexibility
  • Reality

What’s a Parent to Do?

How to Get Your Kids To Clean Their Rooms And Other Impossible Tasks: Ways to Help a Child Be More Responsible.
The Parenting Resource Group with Dr. Henry Isaksen (Brite Music Enterprises, Inc, 1985)
Buy on Amazon: How to Get Your Kids to Clean Their Rooms and Other Impossible Tasks

I was born in 1983. This book was published in 1985. I am positive my mom must have read this book and raised us on the principles taught. I have loved reading this book! I even bought it on Amazon because I want to add it to my library of great parenting books! I took notes on some of my favorite parts as I read the book. It is an EXCELLENT Parent Resource and I highly recommend you to read this book!

Be Positive for Lasting Results (Page 4)

  • Tell the child what he can do, not what he can’t.
  • Give the child support, not criticism.
  • Make life enjoyable for the child, not miserable.
  • Practice being more aware of the positive actions of a child.
  • Reward for Positive behavior. And realize that punishment is also a form of reward – a form that’s to be avoided.

What’s a Parent to Do? Once a parent gets started on the positive approach, things will begin to improve. (Page 5)

  1. Tone of voice can convey respect for the child.
  2. What a child learns, he lives.
  3. Insults, name-calling, and threats are always counterproductive.
  4. Praising responsible behavior causes the child to repeat it.
  5. The parent who is quick to respond to accomplishments is the parent who is building a responsible child.
  6. Giving misbehavior more attention than good behavior will be counterproductive.

Why Most Kids Aren’t Responsible (Page 6)

If the child isn’t taught how to be responsible, he probably won’t ever learn. Responsibility is a skill as well as an attitude. It must be learned…

What’s a Parent to Do? little by little, day by day…

  • If we try to teach when the child is tired or hungry or upset ,we’ll almost certainly fail. Poor timing is a frequent cause of ineffective learning.
  • We shouldn’t try to teach when there’s a time limit involved. Pressure causes both parent and child to get upset, and the teaching situation is ruined.
  • Criticism is a poison when combined with teaching. The two go together like sand and gas in a car engine.
  • We need to be patient. It takes time for anyone to change his ways, to grow and develop, and children are no different.

In each of the chapters there is a section titled “What’s a Parent To Do?”. The following are some of my favorite points through out the entire book that I would like to implement in my parenting:

  • Kids will often learn responsibility simply by mimicking their parents. A good example is crucial, at every age!
  • What’s the best way to find out what a child thinks and feels? One word: LISTEN!
  • “No amount of water can drown a fish, and no amount of real love can smother a child.” Richard Moore
  • If a child is given more than he can handle, he’ll invariably end up being irresponsible.
    • Energy Drain: A battery can run one light well enough. But hook it up to a second and both lights go dim. Hook it up to a third or a fourth, and prety soon you don’t have any light. You don’t have anything left in the battery either.
  • When we use exhortation, we’re taking away the child’s self motivation. Much better is to help the child be motivated by giving rewards, praise, choices, the child something he values.
    • Instead of “You really ought to pick up your dirty socks, you know.” try this: “As soon as your socks are picked up I’ll read you a story.”. Instead of “You really ought to do your chores, you know,” try this: “Would you rather do your chores just before breakfast or right after?”
  • Excuses are distructive. The more a child learns to make excuses, the less he’ll learn to be responsible. To teach a child not to make excuses, take these simple steps:
    • Dont invite the child to make excuses by asking why he failed to do the responsible thing.
  • Teach children correct principles and then let them rule themselves.
  • How a Fence Can Help a Child to Grow: The safer a child feels, the more she’ll be able to learn responsibility.
    • Be dependable – the fence needs to be strong.
    • Involve the child in the process of setting rules – let them help build the fence.
    • Let the child range around within the fence as much as he pleases.
    • Be sensitive to the needs of the child. Don’t get so set in your ways that you’re not willing to make changes as the child needs them.
  • Each child is different. Spend quality time every week with each child individually. Don’t try and do everything; use only the ideas that fit with each individual child.
  • Don’t shelter your child from failure. When things go wrong, encourage the child to try again. Don’t be afraid to give comfort, but don’t overdo. Don’t make excuses for the child, and help him to avoid them, too. Instead help him find ways to succeed.
  • The Negative Power of Inconsistency. Stick to your Guns. When you make a rule, stick by it. (That means you make rules that you can and will enforce.)
  • Be a good role model. Be the kind of person you’d like your child to become.
  • Give a child a goal he can reach, and he’ll be more likely to reach it. Teach them self-reliance; build their self-esteem; increase their ability to do more and more things; help them learn how to accept responsibility.
  • One thing that will encourage a child and help her combat discouragement is a sense of humor.
  • Give your child the freedom to accomplish his tasks in his own way.
  • One of the best things parents can do for their kids is believe in them.
  • Effective Punishment: Be firm as well as kind. Be consistent. Exercise self-control. Issue a warning first. Administer thepunishment immediately after the misbehavior. Make the punishment relate to the misbehavior. Make the punishment correspond to the seriousness of the offense. After punishing, make an opportunity to reaffirm your love to the child.
  • respect (ri-speckt) v., To hold in high regard, to esteem.
  • If a parent wants his child to be responsible, he should act responsibly himself.

Research

I am going to write a paper with my research on child development and our “emotions chart”. I am excited!!! I haven’t written a research paper in 5+ years. It makes me want to go back to school and get my Masters Degree. :) maybe some day soon.

I am also going to write a children’s book introducing the “emotions chart” to toddlers and parents.

Shocking News!

My mom is a picky eater!! Read this conversation…. And if you know my mom! My word!!!! I can’t believes these words came out of her mouth!! She raised us to eat anything without a complaint!! And never EVER ask what is for dinner if you get invited to someones house.

Here are a few of our favorite dishes:

“Chocolate” toast.
Mystery pizza.
Suprise Sandwiches.
“Every thing but” casserol.

Holding hands

Ainsley and I just sat and watched Super Why this morning. She likes to hold my hand and sit right next to me. It was a lovely tender moment spent together! Oh how these moments will pass so quickly! I sat and enjoyed!

Curls & half side pony on top

Ainsley’s hair has just enough curl since I cut it shorter. I add curl enhancer gel to keep the curly locks to stay. I pulled the top onto a side pony so it will stay out of her eyes. Grandma J used to always complain when she saw someone’s hair in their eyes! She would say pull that hair out of her eyes!! Put a pin in it! French braid it! Whatever it takes! Don’t let there hair in their eyes!!

Less Crust

Do you cute your bread in triangles or squares? Grandma J always said you get less crust & more sandwich if you cut from corner to corner!

New Projects Bar

I have changed my blog design and have added several of the projects I am working on to the right side bar.  Enjoy looking at the stuff that I enjoy!



my blog book – inJOYit

featuring my blog book – inJOYit

Lulu.com

Publish, Sell, and Buy books. www.Lulu.com

This is a great way to self publish your family history, blog, cook, wedding, etc BOOKS!

I am going to order one soon and I will let you know how it turns out.

Fall? in the three digits!

First day of Fall was on Monday. And yet in the lovely Las Vegas it is still 105 degrees!! Grandma J used to always cone out of the cold church building and we would sit in the boiling hot car that sat in the sun all afternoon and would say, “I love how it warms ya to the bones!”

Day trip with Grandma

Grandma decided this morning to do a day trip and take all the grandkids to St. George to visit our UT cousins. So we switched cars… Packed in all the car seats… Off they go! Grandma, Afton, Eliot, Gracie, Simon, & Ainsley!!!
She is winning the BEST Grandma EVER award!!! (let’s see if she takes pictures and that will get her a trophy!)

Sick (or Healthy) Tip of the Day

Does anyone have any good tips on how to feel better when you are sick? Life goes on – even for a sick mom. What do you do when you are sick and still need to function?

My sick tip of the day:

Get up and take a Hot Relaxing Shower.  It breaks up all that yucky mucas that has been gathering all night.  After you get out of the shower pick a CUTE outfit and get dressed, including shoes that tie on your feet!  You are going to trick your brain into feeling better! Even if you feel sicker than a dog! My mom always says “Get over it! Getting sick is all mental. That is why I only get sick on Holidays and Weekends (wink wink)”.  Grannie Annie on the other hand says, “Go crawl into bed! I will be there right away to make you chicken noodle soup and take care of those darling girls.” TOO BAD grAnnie lives across the country!! I (and most likely my girls) could use some TLC right about now!

Gospel Doctrines: Anchors to our Souls

By Elder Marlin K Jensen, Ensign 2008

This is a great article that talks about Doctrine changing behavior. “True doctrine understood, changes attitudes and behavior.”

Attachment Theory Question

Here is a question to think about from Attachment Parenting International.  I will write my answer in a separate post.  Feel free to comment – I would love to hear your thoughts on the question.
For some details behind the Question of Attachment Theory read below.
Stephanie // Sep 18, 2008 at 7:00 am wrote “I am trying to become more present in my life so that I can be more attentive and balanced for myself and our family. This is easy to do when the day and/or night is flowing smoothly and I easily have my cup filled. I am most challenged when I am overtasked, depleted, and running low on my cup. Knowing this, what suggestions do you offer for being gentle, positive, compassionate, and aware when you are completely not there? What have you done personally when in the midst of chaos to remain an Attached Parent?”

Attachment Theory From Wikipedia

What are The 8 Principles of Attachment Parenting?

  • Prepare for Pregnancy, Birth, and Parenting
  • Feed with Love and Respect
  • Respond with Sensitivity
  • Use Nurturing Touch
  • Engage in Nighttime Parenting
  • Provide Consistent and Loving Care
  • Practice Positive Discipline
  • Strive for Balance in Personal and Family Life

Attachment theory, originating in the work of John Bowlby, is a psychological, evolutionary and ethological theory that provides a descriptive and explanatory framework for understanding interpersonal relationships between human beings. Attachment theorists consider the human infant to have a need for a secure relationship with adult caregivers, without which normal social and emotional development will not occur. However, different relationship experiences can lead to different developmental outcomes.

Within attachment theory, infant behaviour associated with attachment is primarily a process of proximity seeking to an identified attachment figure in stressful situations, for the purpose of survival. Infants become attached to adults who are sensitive and responsive in social interactions with the infant, and who remain as consistent caregivers for some months during the period from about six months to two years of age. During the later part of this period, children begin to use attachment figures (familiar people) as a secure base to explore from and return to.

Attachment
pattern
Child Caregiver
Secure Protests caregiver’s departure and is comforted on return, returning to exploration. Responds appropriately, promptly and consistently to needs.
Avoidant Little or no distress on departure, little or no visible response to return. Quality of play often low. Little or no response to distressed child. Discourages crying and encourages independence.
Ambivalent Sadness on departure but warms to stranger. On return, ambivalence, anger, reluctance to warm to caregiver and return to play. Preoccupied with caregiver’s availability. Inconsistent between appropriate and neglectful responses.
Disorganised Stereotypies on return such as freezing or rocking. Lack of coherent coping strategy (such as approaching but with the back turned). Frightened or frightening behaviour, intrusiveness, withdrawal, negativity, role confusion, affective communication errors and maltreatment.

Nap time step 3

Nap time for everyone! Gracie was exhausted after a preschool and playdate. So we all laid down to sleep before dinner (and wii bowling). I guess I really needed the sleep because Gracie woke ip and came in to my room. Instead of waking me up she laid on the floor and fell back to sleep!

If my kids are grumpy we 1. Eat 2. Go potty & change diapers 3. Sleep

We are rarely grumpy or if we are grumpy I have steps and know the cause is one of the 3. We are a happier people because we take the right steps and calm the fire before it is billowing deep black smoke! (see the lawnmower post)

Life can be like a Lawn mower

Life. More specific raising a toddler and getting something you need done can be like a lawn mower & mowing the lawn. I decided to mow my lawn today so I pulled out the huge piece of machinary. I pulled the cord and pulled the cord and pulled and pulled. I pushed the starter button 3 times. And continued pulling. NOTHING! Then I realized it must be out of gas. So I got the gas tank and filled it up – it was dry as a bone. Back to pushing the button and pulling. After much pulling it started up but was chugging and chugging. Then it slowly started smoking. It was cutting the lawn but barely! And at any moment it was going to chug to it’s death – I could feel it dying in my hands. Ah-Ha! More oil! I realized and filled up the oil tank. It took a whole bottle! I was ready now! I started it up and mowed 3 feet when I was covered with a thick white smoke!! It was billowing out. I thought for sure the whole thing was going up in flames! I called my brother to access the damage. His instructions were to let it sit, settle down, and it will work just fine after an hour or so. Continue assesing and problem solving until you find your solution.

Toddlers & Lawnmowers need time to settle down so when they start smoking feed them and lay down with them to rest. Even if it was not in your plan. My plan was to mow the lawn before 10:00 but there is nothing I can do with a smoking lawn mower. If your plan is to clean the house or work on the computer or go shopping or anything in a certain time limit take a look at your toddler and see if it needs food or sleep and take care of the problem before it is billowing out smoke!! Because at that point nothing gets done and something might get broken!!

Fresh air

Fresh air and change of scenery can always help brighten the day!! Take a moment and smell the flowers. Look at the world through the eyes of a three year old.

Sitting down

Ainsley likes standing on chairs. NOT GOOD! So in order to get her to sit down and eat dinner we played a game. I would say, “Mommy is sitting, Gracie is sitting, and …” look at ainsley with a huge frown because she was standing. I would repeat again, “Mommy is sitting,{{cheer}} Gracie is sitting,{{cheer}} and…” she would then sit down And we would all CHEER!! Great job!!!! It worked everytime! Giving praise for the proper behavior. Having older sister be an example!

Sure LOVE ya!

Put your hand in. Swirl around. Cheer together: SURE LOVE YA!!

Our nightly routine after family prayer. Physical contact is so important! And brings our family together! I have been doing this same ritual since I was 11 years old! I love the closeness it brings to my family! A strange beautiful feeling!

in Joy it

I love designing book covers. Yes – yet another – strange passion I have. So here it is. My Book Cover for the book I am writing. I write little snippets on the blog and am feeling the passion to write more….soon. My book about [almost] everything my mom has tried to teach me and [a few] things I try and teach her.

written by Joy’s daughter
Jamie Lea Braithwaite

InJOYit: Poopy Pants at the Park

Ok – Well – we had QUITE the day at the park! I will not go into details.  Watch the video and you will see why I am not going into details.  I am focusing on the positive!  My kids poop never stinks!!! and they never cry!!!! Remember the good! Forget the BAD!!! and move on quickly! details

Daddy’s working tonight


Tonight we worked a deal so that Dad could get some work done at home. This note was waiting for him on the door to the garage when he arrived as a surprise. If he comes home and the girls see him it just doesn’t work. It seems to take an hour to say hello and get him into the backroom to work….and then the girls go and distract him the whole time. SO our secret plan worked! We were in the bathroom braiding hair & brushing teeth. Garth sneaked right in! Got 2 hours of work done! and Whula! Explained expectations = no disappointment and lots of work done!

INJOYIT: Driving in a Snow Storm

again…it is time for bed! but here is another one i want to come back and write about….

Driving in a snow storm. Not a NORMAL activity for a Born and Raised Vegas girl. One time I was heading back up to BYU from Christmas break and you know that part after Cedar City before Beaver where the Snow Storm’s can hit hard and fast! Your windshield can look like this:
This being my first official-snow-storm drive I was scared! Luckily Garth was in the car (Montana Boy) and he helped me to calm down. I WISH that he was driving and NOT ME! But the storm came too quickly. We could not stop and switch drivers. I had to continue driving.

Part of the FREAK-SCARE I had was when I focused on the snowflakes hitting my windshield. Like this picture I could not see anything! except WARP-SPEED (starwars style) white-ness coming at me! They were coming so fast! so many! so white! It was Scary! Truly scary!!! I did not know where the road was and I could not see the car infront of me. I did not know where to go – if i should turn or go straight?! I knew we were going to die in that car together in that snow storm. Life seemed to be OVER. I saw the newspaper headline – Vegas Girl FROZEN FOREVER.

Garth helped me to calm down and focus on the 20 feet infront of our blue ’99 Saturn. As long as I kept my focal point ahead I was OK. I could not see farther than 22 feet because everything was white! but all I needed to do was focus 20 feet ahead of the car and see the pot holes, crashed cars, turns in the highway coming so I could adjust our car accordingly before we hit them, or run into them, or off of them!

Same with life. When we focus on the small day-to-day hour-to-hour hungry kids, poopy diapers, bank account, grocery list, chore board, job, family, in-laws, neighbors, dog, friend, shoes, clothes, etc. “white snow flakes” HITTING our WINDSHIELD of LIFE it is scary, overwhelming, frustrating, and can make us crash because we can not see what is coming. But when we stop hyper-focusing, step back, breath, and look forward focusing on the future “20 feet” ahead we can see that life is eternal. are families are forever. We can make choices that will good and prevent us from “hitting the pot hole or driving off the cliffs”. enduring to the end means there is an end to this snow storm and spring is coming!

INJOYIT: Life is a Track Meet

Life is a “Spiritual Track Meet” and in the race of Life you can not judge others – you do not know what event they have entered.

It is getting late and I dont have much time now – so later I will come back and finish. BUTIf you have ever been to a Track Meet there is a LOT going on! Announcers Announcing. Guns Firing. Whistles Blowing. Athletes Participating. Audience Cheering. I have attend many and participated in several. Pole Vaulting was my specialty – I got the Girls Record at Bonanza High School when I was a Freshman & Sophomore, as a Junior I became the Jumping Team Captain.

At these track meets there are many athletes. some sitting on the side lines not moving, some are stretching on the side lines because they just finished running, some are just getting started, some have been running a long time, some are walking, some are running relays, some are cheering, and some are sprinting.

The Sprinters and the Distance Racers have very different techniques.
Starting Position. Ups and Downs.Highs and Lows. Pacing Yourself. Pushing Yourself to the Max.

What I am getting to…..
DO NOT COMPARE! Do not compare yourself to others! The “other” may be running a different race – they may be a sprinter and you are a distance runner. Sprinters have to hit it HARD and FAST! Running to the end quickly. They stop. Stretch. and enter a different event. Distance Runners run and run and run and run and run and run and continue running and running and they do not stop running until they have paced themselves and cross the finish line still alive.

The spiritual track meet event is different for everyone.
Moses had a Burning Bush. Mikki had a Counting Crows song play in her car driving home. Annjilla picked up a cardstock coupon clipout and showed a friend. Kata talked about her Mom and remembered learning who she was as a 10 year old girl. Jamie (me) has small and simple events happen all the time that remind me of who I am. remind me that Heavenly Father LOVES me. remind me that I am heading in the right direction and to keep running! Sometimes I might be SPRINTING! Sometimes I might be sitting at the end of the finish line, breathing hard, barely alive! Sometimes I might be slowly pacing myself for the 78.2 mile race.
Sometime I might be cheering on a friend, waiting for my next run, watching their success. Sometime I might be picking someone up who caught a hurdle, fell down, and was DQ crying on the track. Do not compare yourself to others. It may only be one High School Football Stadium but it is one large Track Meet of life with many different events, races, and winners.

How is your PR? (Personal Record?) Are YOU doing better than you have in the past? Are YOU improving compared to your own PR? have YOU entered a new event? have YOU paced yourself? have YOU crossed a finished line? have YOU picked up someone that was down? have YOU looked at yourself and said I AM A WINNER! or are you only looking at the other athletes wondering why you are not like “so-and-so”?

Book club

I have almost lost my MIND! I forgot to take a picture at BOOK CLUB! So here you go – an AFTER picture. This is where everyone was sitting and talking. We had a great time! Kata let us in on the “scoop” about her FABULOUS Mom! She told stories, we chit chatted, our conversation wondered here and there, and we kept coming back to “Finding the Diamond Within” My favorite part was when Kata talked about her Mom and how Mary encourages everyone to write their own book & to create their life into Parables. I Love that! I told everyone to go home and write a story! Write something down!! It has motivated ME to get my MOM to write her book ;) inJOYit!!!!

Kata & I are going to plan a lunch mom-girl date as soon as Mary & Joy get a free moment to spare! ;)

Growing Up

Our family is growing up! Madison (famLEA Cousin #1) bought her first bra today! She is going to be in the 5th grade next fall. We did the math today and realized that if she gets married at her mom’s age (18), she could be married in less than 10 years! We had a great girl bonding time going to Target shopping! Mother & Daughter went into the dressing room together and tried them all one to make sure everything was just right and comfortable.
Along with the big step of ladies accessories Madison got her first shaving cream and razor! No more hair on these long silk legs! She is smooth as silk! Dad (Jimmy) approves! No cuts or missing spots her first time! She did great! She had a great teacher by her side helping her the whole way. Shauna your baby is growing UP!!! Way to go Madison! You are an example to all the famLEA cousins!

INJOYIT: Toddler Food

Keep a knife and cutting board at the table during mealtimes to more easily share your food with toddlers

So smart. From Jenny:

To make cutting food for my youngest easier at mealtime, I usually keep a small cutting board (4×6 inch) and serrated knife next to me. She eats what we do, and our family of 5 almost always eats dinner together, so this makes feeding her much easier than cutting up food before we sit. A serrated knife is a must€“ nothing cuts things like grapes and cherry tomatoes better.

I like this because cutting food on the plate often mashes things together, and SOME FINICKY KIDS (I won’t name names) like their food presented a little more artfully.

Related: Time to relax about the kids’ finicky eating


INJOYIT: Behavior

Jamie types and Joy says:

“Your behavior effects other people. Don’t ever think that you can do what ever you want because it doesn’t effect anyone. All of us have people in our lives that effect our behavior or that our behavior effects. Some for the good. Some for the bad. One thing Grandma J. always did was have a good word to say, a smile, or a plan when she wasn’t feeling particularly happy about something or had a bad experience. She could turn a ‘cold’ atmosphere in the room around with her keen wit and sense of humor. If she was having a bad time in life she would pack the children up in the car and drive to the state capitol, the zoo, or to California. She told me that Grandpa J. never wanted to go (and was sometime the cause of the ‘unpleasant time’) but he would always make sure she had a good car and paid for the gas. What do you do when you are in a hard time or an unpleasant situation in life? Do you realize your behavior effects other people? It does.”

INJOYIT: Eating Dinner Together

Jamie types and Joy says:

“One of the first steps to help a family in trouble is to establish an eating (and sleeping) routine.
I just recently returned to a conference about developing a healthy brain and I learned that eating one meal a day with another person using utensils is a top priority. I believe the language development and enrichment that comes through conversation builds/strengthens the Synaptic density or brain reserve. This process also has the byproduct of developing self-esteem, self worth and a valued opinion in our children.

One of the things that we did in our family is have evening meals every night with conversation and gave everyone an opportunity to have a voice in the family, sharing their own experiences and making them feel as important as the others. One experience comes to mind when we had guests over for dinner. They dominated the conversation speaking only to the adults. After they left Troy (6 years old) said to me, “Those people didn’t even act like I was here. I hate being ignored.” That is when I understood the importance of giving everyone a voice at the table.

Check out Dr. Paul Nussbaum website or watch him here:

INJOYIT: Parenting & the Media

I read this and LOVE IT! Especially these points:

  • reclaim morality from social trend-setters outside the home
  • dangers of the media’s adverse influence on young people and others
  • they cannot allow schools, communities or television to establish children’s values
  • parents have this responsibility.
  • Elder Ballard makes clear that media is not all bad. “Opposite from its harmful and permissive side, media offers much that is positive and productive,” he said.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has produced two booklets for young people, parents and youth leaders:

After reading this Garth said…”make sure you don’t spend all your time searching for everything in the ‘unlimited supply’ of good media.”



As Morality in Media Falls, Parents Should Do More, Network Founder
Tells NPR

from LDS Newsroom RSS Feed:

In an interview with National Public Radio recently, philanthropist Sheila Johnson said that moral standards in the media were declining and that parents needed to step up.

For Johnson, co-founder of Black Entertainment Network (BET), American standards depicted in music videos, sitcoms, reality shows and other programs are evidence that we have lowered the bar with respect to what is considered acceptable, and she doesn’t think it can go any lower.

Speaking about music videos in particular and popular media in general she said, “We are giving these kids a false sense of what life is all about.”

Johnson believes that parents and families need to reclaim morality from social trend-setters outside the home. “We need to give them [children] something to counteract the filth that is on TV,” she said.

Latter-day Saints relate to Johnson’s concerns. Church leaders have spoken out for decades against the dangers of the media’s adverse influence on young people and others.

Church apostle Elder M. Russell Ballard advised parents in 2003 that they cannot allow schools, communities or television to establish children’s values. He said that parents have this responsibility.

Studies show that there are increasing amounts of sexual content, vulgarity and profanity found in sitcoms, music videos and reality shows. The Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation found that 89 percent of parents are concerned about their children’s exposure to inappropriate content in entertainment media, especially TV.

A study by the American Academy of Pediatrics found that up to 75 percent of music videos contain sexual content. Other research asserts that music videos represent over 90 sexual situations per hour.

In response to declining moral standards as portrayed in much of today’s media, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has produced two booklets for young people, parents and youth leaders.

The For the Strength of Youth handbook suggests to Mormon teens how to make choices based on an understanding of values and consequences. Topics addressed in the pamphlet include dress and appearance, entertainment and the media, music and dancing, and sexual purity.

Many young Latter-day Saints carry a small copy of the booklet in their purse, wallet or bag.

“I definitely think it’s tougher to follow certain standards today than it was 10 years ago,” said Mike Romney, a youth leader in Gilbert, Arizona. “I think our kids are pretty good, but many still have challenges. That is why we talk about standards and values so they are aware of the dangers out there.”

The other booklet, Guidebook for Parents and Leaders of Youth, explains the potentially positive influence that adults can have in the lives of youth. It encourages parents to actively participate in their children’s activities and to help them set goals that will lead to a successful life.

Elder Ballard makes clear that media is not all bad. “Opposite from its harmful and permissive side, media offers much that is positive and productive,” he said.

“Television offers history channels, discovery channels, education channels. One can still find movies and TV comedies and dramas that entertain and uplift and accurately depict the consequences of right and wrong.”

Speaking of other media he added, “The Internet can be a fabulous tool of information and communication, and there is an unlimited supply of good music in the world. Thus our biggest challenge is to choose wisely what we listen to and what we watch.”

INJOYIT: Solutions to Depression…

Alma 26:27 “Now when our hearts were depressed, and we were about to turn back, behold the Lord comforted us, and said: Go amongst thy brethren the Lamanites, and bear with patience thine afflictions and I will give unto you success.

INJOYIT: Assurance

“Assurance. Having the courage to follow your convictions.”

This is a quote my mother has framed on her office wall. To her this means being able to say “this” is the right thing to do. And when you do what you say you dont have guilt or peer pressure to lead astray. When you have a conviction and you know what is right, assurance is having the courage to follow those convictions.

This is going to be in the same chapter as the post on Friday, November 16, 2007:

INJOYIT: Flexiblilty & Support System

I think it is a matter of Flexibility, Assurance, and Courage.
Finding the flexibility to help others. Finding the flexibility to help yourself. Finding the flexibility to change yourself. Knowing with assurance that who you are and what you do is right. Having the courage to follow through with your thoughts, words, actions, and ideas; not allowing others to define who you are or who you want to become.

INJOYIT: Welfare Principles

My parents have always been a great example of teaching us how to “provide for ourselves”. Every Sunday night we would have a Family Council meeting. Everyone would get out their calendars and keep track of everyone’s schedules for the week. This way we always knew what was going on in our lives. This has given me to tools to keep track and record my life. Which goes right along with Money Management. When I was very little I remember getting a Money Ledger and having lessons on how to keep track of my money by writing down every cent, where it went, how I earned it, and how much to pay for tithing. My mom always paid us one penny per page to read if we recorded the information down in our ledger. I took this to heart and recorded EVERYTHING that I read. I really could rack up the doe pretty quickly! It encouraged me to read more and by 2nd grade I was reading chapter books – only for the money! ;)

Gordon B. Hinckley has taught us that “Those in need are expected to do all they can to provide for themselves. Then families are expected to assist in taking care of their less-fortunate members. And then the resources of the Church are made available.”

(Gordon B. Hinckley, “I Was an Hungred, and Ye Gave Me Meat,” Ensign, May 2004, 57)

My mom believes strongly that you should put yourself in a position so when your children need the help you will be able to help them financially. This does not mean giving away free money!!! ONLY after all you can do for yourself THEN they have assisted in taking care.

INJOYIT: Decorating in 24 hours

It is nice to have the right tools. If you are going to put in a door and you have a skill saw, hammer and yard stick you can do it, but not very good. If you have a miter, a square, some shims, a laser level, a hammer, a screw driver, a tape measure, and an assistant named Handy, you can do a more expert job in a limited amount of time.

I am not an expert or a professional by any means, but with the right tools you can do almost anything! And I love doing “anything” in a limited amount of time. For instance, last February I decided I wanted to throw a “Girl Party” and before my party I decided to decorate the girls rooms. So one day Garth came home, all the furniture was pushed to the middle of the rooms covered with plastic, the nursery wall was tapped off & color coded labeled, and we painted. (He never knows what project he is going to come home too! :) Here are the general steps that I went through.

1. INSPIRATIONs.
Ainsley’s room – Stripes: Fabric from her Crib Bumpers. I had my crib set that Christy Hugh made for Gracie’s nursery. When I was pregnant with Gracie, I actually bought a queen set of sheets from Target and Christy cut it up and created bumpers, crib skirt, and window valance for me.
Gracie’s room – Flowers: Fabric from her Big Girl Comforter. Purchased at Target ($45) when we set up her new Big Girl Bed. Her big girl bed is a twin bed so I invested in a comforter that I really liked and will last more than her toddler years.

2. TOOLs & SUPPLIEs
I took my inspiration items with me into the store (Wal-mart, Lowes, HomeDepot, it doesnt matter) and picked out the paint swatches that matched the best. I knew with Ainsley that I wanted to do stripes so I picked out 6 colors. I had 2 pinks so I would use the left over paint from Ainsley’s room and do Gracie’s flowers. Purchase the smallest can they will sell you! I paid less than $5.00 each can a total of $30. I used cardboard box to hold paper cups 1/2 full of each paint color. I used painters tape, brushes, and plastic we had left over from painting our house. We painted our entire house before we moved (highly recommend! especially if you have a dad that is as hard working as mine!) So these decorations were just to go on top of the already painted wall. (when I get sick of them and need a change I will get my original paint out and re-paint over everything)

3. TAPING and PROJECTING
Ainsleys room: I created a basic pattern on a 2 sheet of butcher paper with my pencil. 2″brown~space~3.5″blue~space~2″green~space~3″lightpink~space~space~2″pink~space~1.5″gold~space~6″lightpink

Using a Laser Level I taped off the top and bottom of the stripes with Painters tape. I taped my pattern onto the bottom of my stripe and turning my laser level on a 45* angle started taping off the pattern and writing on the tape what color goes where. ALL DONE with prep.

Gracie’s room: I took a couple pictures of Gracie’s bedspread and flowers that I liked from a scrapbook magazines. You really can use anything that you want – the more complicated the long it is going to take to paint. I like to keep it Simple – Fast – and Easy. I set up a projecter in the middle of the room, hooked my point and shoot camera to the Projector using the RCA cables. ALL DONE with prep.

4. PAINTING.
When Garth came home he found Aisnleys room all prep and read so together we painted the different stripes after Gracie went to bed. It took about 2 hours. Be very delicate with small amounts of paint by the edge of the tape because the texture on the wall will allow paint to leak into the tape -messy! I tip I learned AFTER is if you wipe a little bit of caulking on the painters tape it will seal the texture bumps and make perfect lines with no bleeding. Peel off the tape. You can wait for as long as you want, but I wanted to see it with out the ugly blue tape so we peeled it of after 15 minutes of drying. WHa-LA! all done

The next day I was going to wait for Garth to get home, but during Gracie’s nap time I decided to start on the flowers. It was really fun! I flipped through the pictures on my projector positioning them on my wall, zooming in and out, rotating, moving up and down, stepping back and eye-balling it. I used the brown, gold and mixed the pink colors together to get a few more pinks. After Gracie’s two hour nap I was done. You can see more pictures here of Gracie’s Room By the time Garth got home all the furniture was back in place, the plastic cleaned up, and it was time for the next project! :) I like to keep life exciting

INJOYIT Bedtime

My girls both sleep GREAT in their own beds. Stick with it! Let them cry it out.
This is the advice that My doc & Mom drilled into me when I had Gracie. It worked so well I used it with Ainsley too:
They said that kids are in the habit of waking up and eating in the middle of the night. You have to help them understand the habit needs to be sleeping through the entire night. They told me that Gracie did not NEED to eat, she just WANTED to eat. and that I NEEDED to sleep so stick with this routine and they will learn that CRYing does not help. (BUT REMEMBER if you break the routine the little ones will pick up on it and will know that if they just keep CRYing that mom will break down eventually)
SO here it is:

  • Do your night time routine (bath, PJs, read a book, say a prayer, sing a song, whatever)
  • Lay them down for Bed
  • wait 15 mintues, if they are still crying: Lay them down again, Let them know you are here and it is OK it is just time to go to bed
  • start your timer again and wait 30 minutes, if they are still crying: Lay them down again, Dont pick them up! just let them know you are here it is OK it is just time for bed and lay them down
  • wait 1 hour, if they are still crying: Lay them down again, don’t say anything, don’t pick them up, just lay them down again – leave the house if you can’t handle the crying.
  • wait 2 hours,if they are still crying: Lay them down again, don’t say anything!
  • wait 3 hours, 4 hours, etc. etc. etc. if they are still crying: Lay them down again, don’t say anything!

Remember YOU ARE THE MOM!!! You really do know what is best for them! You need sleep and they need sleep! I KNOW that you can do it!!!! And it will pay off! Now both of my girls know that when it is sleep time (nap or bed) i am serious, Crying does nothing, so they both fall asleep right away. I also use a “special snuggly” for my girls. So they know if they have Ducky (Gracie’s snuggly) or Bunny (Ainsley’s snuggly) it is time for bed. To get them attached to their “snuggly” everytime I nursed I would hold onto the snuggly so that they would start associating comfort with the snuggly and the smell & feeling of nursing would be associtated with their snuggly. This will help if you ever have to leave your kids with someone else like Gma & Gpa, because it is impossible to leave your B**Bs behind. :)

INJOYIT

Things I think about in the shower or while I am Vacuuming
I will explain more when I get a chance:

INJOYIT: Binkies & Self Pacifying

INJOYIT: Waking up, Healthy bodies, doing hair, showering everyday, dogs & pets, sleep deprivation and nap time, puzzles, crawling before walking, coloring/drawing, eye hand coordination

INJOYIT: Personal/Family Budget

INJOYIT: Eating Creative Lunches, social eaters, feeding themselves, setting the table, doing the dishes,

INJOYIT: Reading & Teaching your children to read

INJOYIT: Cleaning & Teaching your children chores & responsibility

INJOYIT: Family Projects

INJOYIT: Family Prayer, Family Hug,

INJOYIT: eating Dinner together, talking about your day, everyone involved in the conversation

INJOYIT: Sunday Family Council, everyone with a calendar, go around the room, everyone shares & keeps track together

Having a Bad Day?

InJoyIt – There are times when I am depressed, lonely, and tired. There is too much laundry, too many dishes, and too little eneregy. Grandma J always told me if I was feeling this way to “Clean your house and have a party!” And it works! The best attitude adjuster is having other people come over, laugh, play and party! It does not have to be anything big! You don’t need to spend money. Just call a few friends, pop some popcorn, play a game, etc…
Make sure you call your friends as you start cleaning your house. It will keep you motivated! and maybe it will help someone else feel good to get out of their own house and be invited over! “Stretching our souls in service helps us to rise above our cares, concerns, and challenges. As we focus our energies on lifting the burdens of others, something miraculous happens. Our own burdens diminish. We become happier. There is more substance to our lives.” (David S. Baxter, “Faith, Service, Constancy,” Ensign, Nov. 2006, 14)

in Joy it


My book about [almost] everything my mom has tried to teach me and [a few] things I try and teach her.

written by Joy’s daughter
Jamie Lea Braithwaite

My new book… more details coming soon.

Powered by: in Joy it

My book, that I have not actually written yet, is going to be appearing on my blog. It is going to be random, out of order, and always a work in progress. Maybe someday I will actually publish a book. Until then, you will get snippets here and there.
In-Joy-It is a book about [almost] everything my mom has tried to teach me and [a few] things I try and teach her.
I am not expert. But I am a daughter. I am a mother of daugthers. I am listener. I am a learner. I am a do-er. And now I am going to write about it.
Please excuse any grammatical errors, spelling errors, point of views, and strong opinions. Because this is who I am, what I believe, and most importantly this is what my mom says.
I hope you in-Joy-it!

in Joy it

In Joy it. Like I said before…spelling was never a strong suit for me. (more to come later on spelling.) for now:

EnJoy it. Every part of everyday. Enjoy everything. Enjoy it! Enjoy your work. Enjoy your vacation. Enjoy your retirement. Enjoy your babies. Enjoy your toddlers. Enjoy your teens. Enjoy your spouse. Grandma J was always saying “I am going to force you to have fun!” Just remember to enJoy it!

In Joy. Inside of my mom, Joy. Is a overflowing wealth of Knowledge. She was taught by the great master: Grandma J. And now it is a matter of getting all that useful knowledge documented for the next generation.

I Need Joy. I need my mom and I love my mom. She needs me and she loves me. It has been a rocky road but we are growing closer and closer. Any one that has a mom, is a mom, or knows a mom needs Joy. Remember the way you treat your mom, is going to be the way your children are going to treat you. You need to have Joy!

Joy it. My mom can turn any situation around and complete any task demanded of her. This is not an exaggeration! She works best under pressure, last minute, and running on the midnight oil. If you ever need to talk to her it is best if you are running along side her as she is working to complete over 967 tasks per minute. She calls this an “Elevator Conversation” meaning if you can communicate to her in the time it takes to ride the elevator, she will stay focused on you. But if you drag on any longer she has exited the conversation and is onto bigger, better, taller, faster, more important items. I am going to call this “Joy it”. The foreign language I have learned to communicate in and at times I am fluent myself.

INJOYIT Mind Reading

Can I ever really complete this sentence? Garth, All you need to do is…? clean the bathroom before it starts growing; or take out the trash before it overflows out of control; or make the bed atleast once every other month; or entertain the girls while doing the dishes, mopping the floor, and preparing dinner; or Garth, All you need to do is READ MY MIND.

Today I found myself thinking about “all Garth needs to do” and decided that this should be one of my new years resolutions: Take Pride in my Day Job.
Every time I think “Garth, all you need to do is…” I am going to STOP and do it myself with a smile! and then I am going to show him with a smile! Taking pride in my organizing, cleaning, planning, cooking, mothering skills.

My natural state is working (a trait I inherited from my mother). and I feel best when I am working hard and being productive. I would be an AMAZING corporate woman. but I am lucky enough to be an at-home-working mother. I have 2 beautiful girls to raise and a beautiful house to clean & organize.

As I take pride in my “day job” (at home) Garth will be able to enjoy his “part time job” (at home). As Garth takes pride in his “day job” (on the computer) I will be able to enjoy my “part time job” (on the computer).

The times I get depressed, frustrated, and lonely are the times that I put off my “day job” and wish someone else (like Garth) would do it for me. I usually find myself wishing to work on the computer or my “part time job”. In my frustrated state I find myself thinking that Garth needs to put more time in and work harder doing my “day job”. This is wrong! and as I type this it is sounding more and more ridiculous! I have a creative outlet in my own Graphic Design Business (G & J Design, LLC) and I am able to work from home. Just a I hope that Garth enjoys his creative outlet playing & teaching his girls. As I put in my time doing my day job, just as Garth puts in his time doing his day job. We will both be able to enjoy our part time jobs.

I married an amazing husband! but no, he is not a mind reader! I need to let him know when, where and how his help will be most productive and useful.

Autobiography


This post (below) really hit home for me today. Not that I was ever a weather girl or living alone. But we all have our own “most difficult” experiences to handle. Last weekend I went to President Maniors funeral and his son read part of his Fathers Autobiography as part of the funeral. It really made me think about my own “Autobiography”. What will people read from the chapters of my book? Will they read about my perseverance during hard times? Will they read about my child rearing ideas and experiments? Will they read about my fame and fortune? Will they read about my long life of happiness and joy? Will they read about my pain and suffering?

“Everything will be right in the end. If it is not right. It is not the end.” During one of my “most difficult” times, my roomate wrote this quote on a sticky on my computer for me to find when I got home from a LONG day at school & work. I love to remember that when I am in the middle of my experiences. It is NOT the end. I still have many more chapters to write in my Autobiography! (or my blog!)


Sometimes: Sometimes I go out on my own and I drive the Civic and I stop and get myself a little treat. And sometimes when I do this, I pretend I am still a single weather girl, living alone and independently in Muriel’s Castle on only a few hundred dollars a month. Sometimes I miss that. And sometimes it really strikes me how those experiences that seem to be the most difficult to survive turn out to be the ones that mean so much and the ones you miss the most in the end.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Something to work on:

paralyzing perfectionism >> more details coming.

INJOYIT: Flexiblilty & Support System

Who or What is your support system?
Who or What is your wind?

The branches of a green tree will bend with the wind.
The branches of a dead tree will break in the wind.
So always be flexible and you won’t break when the wind blows. (Joy Lea)

I would like to say that I am a green tree and that I bend with the wind. My family has always taught me the skills of flexibility! EMOTIONAL flexibility. This has been a hard lesson for me to learn – I love planning and organzing, making lists, setting times and places. And often I have to be like the Green Tree and bend here and there to adjust to the moment. This is where the question of the day comes: Who or What is your support system?

In our new backyard we planted 5 young green trees. And the lesson I have learned from these Green Trees is they have to have a support system because at times they are TOO flexible. My silver dollar gum tree need a trim job for the winter so I started trimming all the branches and at the same time I cut away green tape that was hooked to the support beams. This 15 foot young flexible tree bent COMPLETLY OVER! It fell all the way to the ground and layed on my grass!! I thought for sure it was going to break in half! Instead I lifted it back up and tied it to the 12 foot support beams my dad helped me install. So even though a this young green tree was flexible, if I had not supported it properly, it would have died in the grass or been very unhappy laying in the grass! My dad told me that a young tree needs a support system for atleast 3 years before it can stand on its own. So – Who or What is your support system? and Who or What is your wind?

My wind includes many things – crying frustrated children, explained expectations that are not met, lack of sleep and time, etc, etc, etc.

My support system is Garth! He always lifts me up when I am down! He always helps me when I become too flexible and am laying disappointed and almost broken in the grass. He reminds me to take care of myself, so I can in turn take care of others.

Who or What is your support system?
Who or What is your wind?